But I have not yet gone to college.

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Another essay, also musical in focus, got a more appreciative read at U.V.A.:

‘Come on, Ashley. Put the pencil down. Just put the pencil down and go to bed,’ I told myself sternly. I had been hard at work for hours — brutal, mind-numbing hours. I groaned as I moved over to my bed, collapsing in a pile of blankets and closing my eyes.


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My head throbbed as I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself to give up.

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What worked here? I’m told the admissions officers appreciated how the writer conveyed her love of words — and in the process told them much about herself. As a writer, I admired the way she built a sense of mystery at the outset, one that served to draw the reader in.

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Factor #1: Have you ever tried to make jello? It takes patience. First you have to boil the water; then mix it with powder, stirring for two minutes; then finally adding the cold water and putting it in the fridge for forty-five minutes. Think about the creation of people…

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I lay there for a moment or two, gathering strength, gaining courage. My tense shoulders began to unclench as I stretched out and opened my bleary eyes…

If Three Sites Do Not Make You a Placement Offer

Although the essays chosen as the “good” examples are well-written, I found the other 2 more interesting. Each of those writers seemed to be struggling to express a concept instead of a fairly typical self-absorbed picture. Obviously. the “good” essays are easier to identify with, but they are also rather juvenile. Our education system tends to reward the neat package, not the messy one. I’d like to think that both sets of essay writers deserve an excellent education.

President Clinton Tribute to Ronald H. Brown 2016

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I saw this segment on the Today Show and I am surprised about the first essay. I understand the concept of Glee being a new show and seeming juvenile, but it isn’t. I find the show rather creative for taking older songs, modernizing them, and reintroducing them to a new generation of people. Not to mention it adds new life to a song already loved by the older generation who watch the show as well. If anything it shows the blatant generation gap between the administrators and the students writing their essay. John Lennon was a great artist but it doesn’t mean I’m obligated to be a fan, nor is this student. People should respect the difference of opinion. This student was honest enough to say he/she didn’t like the song and why when performed by John Lennon, but found beauty in the song he/she previously dismissed when performed by a group of deaf children. I think that shows a strong sense of self in the student which was, unfortunately, overlooked.