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Step 7: Take down the top section of hair and secure it into a half-up ponytail with a mini hair elastic at about the same spot as the elastic holding the braids together.

Step 3: Continue the French braid, adding more hair to each strand as you go.

I have a 2 year old and have struggled with knowing if its okay to call her beautiful and cute or if I should curb my natural impulses because it is VERY important to me that she doesn’t think her value is in her physical appearance. I have decided a balance is best. She is pretty, she naturally loves all things sparkles but also obsesses over animals and loves playing with matchbox cars. As destructive as it may be for her to think being pretty is the most important thing about her it would also be destructive if her mom never told her she is pretty in a world that is telling her looks are very important. She will just grow to feel she is must not be and become all the more obsessed with the looks she doesn’t have. My mom always told me I was pretty in such a casual and free way I just decided I was so it was never something I had to worry about. It wasn’t until I hit my twenties that it even occurred to me that maybe I wasn’t really as attractive as I had always thought. But by then it was kind of a funny revelation to me. Through all of this though, knowing I was pretty, my mom telling me was, and not even worrying about it, I knew my strength and the one thing that made me special was my intelligence (which also turns out was a little overblown, but again, oh well). Somehow she made it to where I knew I was pretty but it was after thought, but it was my intellect, my wit, my superior logic that I needed to compete to maintain. I love make up and clothes and hair and shopping, but my intelligence is what I am proud of. My intelligence is what I work and fight for. And that is what I want for my toddler. Not necessarily her intelligence, but whether it is her integrity or athleticism or her empathy, or her passion, I want her to find her value there, but never worry about her looks, because that is just a given.


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Step 2: Starting with the right section, braid the hair and secure with an elastic at the bottom.

Step 4: Use a bobby pin to pin the braid back into the hairline. Pull the clips off of the loose hair and tousle hair to cover the elastic and pin in the front.


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I completely agree with Kathy – I have three daughters, and believe me, I will go to the ends of the earth to ensure they are valued for their brain, their interests and what positive contributions they can bring to the world, as I agree with the article that these are of utmost importance. However, I see nothing at all wrong with paying a compliment to my daughter when she has mastered choosing a nice outfit or brushed her hair into a nice braid (that she has been working very hard to master!). Of course we want to raise self-confident daughters who are sure of themselves inside and out, and by myself and my husband telling them we, as their parents, think they are beautiful, by no means does them a disservice. It is just another way we show them how loved, valued, and appreciated they are, both inside and out. It’s all about balance and moderation – don’t focus on ONLY the outside, or ONLY the inside. They are whole people, beautiful and intelligent, inside and out.

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Rah. You got it.
It’s all too easy to fall into the ‘I love that dress’ habit…and while it may be true that the kid, or the dress (or shoes, hair…whatever) are super cute – and it may be an appreciated compliment, as a mother of a girl I have to say that I’m always looking for ways to remind my daughter that there are qualities she has that are admirable that are not appearance-based. She gets that enough, but I want the message to be that her intelligence, curiosity, artistic abilities and other skills are equally valuable.

So … About My Hair | By Jeremy Lin - The Players' Tribune

She first states that Black Americans straighten their hair because it is the stage of transformation; it closes the door of innocence and opens the door to adulthood.